cleaning house

I took the kids on a spur-of-the moment trip to Florida to visit family. We had a great time and I will post some pictures soon. But one thing struck me, especially coming back home: every house we visited there was so clean. I mean spotless. And we did some drop-ins too, so it's not like they all knew we were coming. If you were to drop in on my house it could be scary. In fact even if I know you're coming it could be scary. I've had a dear friend politely not notice the petrified pb&j on the living room floor, and I've had a new acquaintance come in and say, "oh, are you moving?". I like to say that you know we're good friends when you can see my house messy and I don't want to cry.

I really REALLY like a beautiful house. It makes me very happy. But sadly right now it comes after lots of other things that also make me happy - playing with my kids, being on the go, making stuff. And these kids, they just come with so. much. stuff. And they seem to shed stuff wherever they go.

Before we had kids, we had a great system. We would invite people over on a regular basis, and that would spur us to keep things fairly pulled together. You really don't have to clean as much, since most adults don't go around touching things with sticky fingers.

But with kids - oh, the stuff. And the distractions. If I can get everyone dressed and fed and happy and active and fed again and cleaned and rested and stimulated and fed again and washed and put to bed, I think I'm doing ok. The kitchen gets cleaned, but things like dusting? ha.

I've got to find a way to figure this out. My dining room is the biggest challenge, since now with the two kiddos it doubles as my studio space. And of course it is the first thing you see when you come in the house. And I hate the chairs in there. I came home inspired and cleaned away the ghosts of cookie parties past. (Why must kids touch everything?) I secretly hoped to ruin the finish so I could justify replacing them. They are just a trilogy of bad: ugly, uncomfortable, unwieldily. They came with our big round table (which I do like) so I thought I would recover the fabric, which is an awful shade of vermillion (ick) with flecks of (gag) turquoise. But then factor in uncomfortable, and what is the point? My feet don't touch the floor when I sit in these chairs. I know I have short legs but this is ridiculous. I have to put a pillow behind my back like a little old lady. And there must be 27 of the damn things.

It's amazing what you can get used to when you look at something every day. But really, these must go.

Since it is just off the front entry, the dining room also functions as sort of a drop zone for coming and going. Roman's carseat, Stella's school stuff, whatever we had in our hands when we came in and had to quickly drop to help one of the kids. Sigh.

What we really need is studio space for me, and a better drop zone solution. But we like the rest of the  house and are not in a hurry to move. So this might have to be my new project. Right after I finish sewing and painting.

And so I tell myself: None of those houses in Florida had kids living in them. Or art studios. And everyone who lives in this house - no matter its state - is healthy and happy.

But I am totally getting a housekeeper.

getting less slow

last week, 16:40. Yeah!
this week, 16:02. YEAH!
i am approaching a speed at which i might be able to pass a walker. ha.

the boy who ate his nana

progress

So... an update on the 12 minute mile goal. My baseline run was completed in 18:54, but according to RunKeeper it was at an average pace of 18:12. I'm sure there is something sophisticated about how those two numbers can be different but I haven't got the energy to figure it out.

So that plus the fact that my GPS tends to go a little wonky on my block (where I usually run), I've got a backup method of just starting the stopwatch. The other day I took both kids for a walk in the double stroller and we went around the block (1/2 mile) - RunKeeper told me I had gone 2.75 miles in like 12 minutes and sent me a congratulatory email. Fail! Bad RunKeeper! I've used it on a marked trail and it worked perfectly. The good news is that it seems that when in goes wrong, it does so in a big way. I can see my minute-by-minute pace suddenly drop or rise to ridiculous levels. So we will be measuring in a more simple way - how long it takes to cover one mile. Preferably a known mile so I don't fake myself out.

Anyhow - I ran the same stretch last weekend with my sister-in-law in 18:17. Yay for intervals! Yay for having company on the run! Boo for waffles and blueberry sausage beforehand!

Then this past weekend I ran on a high school track.  I had always assumed the innermost lane was the one that was exactly .25 miles around, but according to the GPS and RunKeeper I had a bit further to go to make it a mile. So I did, and finished that in 16:40. Yay for progress! And flatness! Anyone know how those tracks are usually calibrated? Is it the middle lane that is exactly .25 around? That would make sense.

Will be adding some Pilates to the mix, and I picked up a copy of Jillian Michaels' 30-day Shred. I've heard good things. On we go.

valentine's day

There is a lot to dislike about Valentine's Day - overpriced flowers, limited menu at your favorite restaurant, crowds and a general air of panic. I used to love being at the grocery store on Valentine's Day right after work - just to watch the desperation as people try to find some way to adequately express their love via prepackaged edibles. The pressure!

I wish we could go back to how we did it when we were kids -  a day to do nice things for your friends and share with the other kids in your class (community), and even find something nice to say about those kids who drive you crazy.

I'm a big believer in telling people what they mean to you, which does not necessarily have anything to do with romance. This day is for everyone.

I'm so grateful for my family. My sisters Becca, Judy, Sabrina and Amanda. They know me better than I know myself sometimes. My brother, my parents (all four). My gigantic extended family. 54 FIRST cousins. I haven't even tried to count the second cousins. Aunts and uncles. The best in-laws anyone could ask for. The extended family on Stephen's side, all of whom have welcomed me with open arms. Amazing nieces and nephews. Grandparents, great-aunts and uncles. I am so very lucky to have so many. Some families could field their own sports team - we could have a league.

I'm lucky to have good friends, old and new. College friends who thought me wild. Childhood friends  who thought me quiet. Work friends. Now mom friends. Art friends and kindred souls. Friends who see the batsignal. Friends to travel the world with. Friends who can just pick up after forever. Long friendships that have grown a comfortable veneer. New friendships with the spark of possibilities. Every one means something to me, every one adds to me and makes me a better person.

My husband: my great romance, the love of my life. There is nobody like him.

My kids - I say enough about them already. But they are my delight. I laugh a lot more these days. I never thought I would be a mom but I am glad I am.

XOXO

more to remember

Stella loves to role play. "You be Stella, I'm Momma" etc. I love how whenever she is being me, she puts the most serene smile on her face. I'm sure I don't really look like that but I like to think she is showing me that she feels the love. She also talks so sweetly, "aw, hi honey..."


This has to be my favorite role play exchange (I overheard):
    Stella: Daddy, I want a cupcake. 
    Stephen: No, honey, cupcakes are for later. 
    Stella: Wait - you're Stella and I'm Daddy. 
    Stephen (playing along): Ok. Hi, Daddy. 
    Stella (sweetly): Honey, do you want a cupcake?

She's getting clever! When she's playing Daddy she tries to pick Stephen up. "You're getting so big!"

I was starting to think she was not particularly imaginative. Her dolls were named baby doll, baby boy, and baby girl. And then we met Flowerpot! Flowerpot is by far her favorite. This week we met her imaginary friend Tito. (I like to think it's Tito Jackson or Tito Puente.) We do know he has no mommy and periodically stops by her friend Jackson's house. Stella and Jackson also have a puppy together (an old balloon on a string). They take very good care of it - when we were leaving Jackson's house I told her the puppy had to stay there, and she turned to Jackson and made sure he would feed it. I heard reports later that Jackson did indeed take excellent care of the puppy.

What else... I know there is so much I will forget! The other day I offered her strawberries and she told me she likes them when they are not cold. I said "I agree!" because I too am a connoisseur of room-temperature fruit and she said, "no, momma, you're not a gree. you're a momma."

snow week

There are really only two seasons in Dallas - Christmas and Summer. We have very mild winters that sort of phase into some pretty spectacular thunderstorms and then before you know it, it is hot again.

So people get pretty excited about snow. Well, it snowed last week. And the whole city shut down. I mean schools and most businesses closed for FOUR DAYS. People from northern climes would look at this as a normal Tuesday, but there are no snow plows in this city, and they use sand instead of salt on the ice. Have you ever tried to melt ice with sand? Yeah, me neither.

OH MY GOD I HAD TO ACTUALLY STAY HOME FOR FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT. Whew. My tips for surviving a Texas snowstorm:

1. Gather the necessary provisions. Stella and I hit the fabric store Monday night and I am so glad we did. I surely would have gone mad without a few projects to work on. I've made 4 1/2 little girl outfits so far. Stella has a new passion for gluing things to other things. And using scissors. And now I have to find a new place to keep the scissors because I am afraid of her using them on her hair.
2. If you have someone you can potty train, go for it. You will regret it for a while, especially while chasing a very excited (but messy) two year old who just earned herself some candy. Yuck. You will especially regret it when your husband decides he works for the post office and braves the roads to work, leaving you to handle this on your own. But I will say that by day 3 we were starting to see some success. Fingers still crossed.
3. Don't bother complaining. Yeah, it's just a teeny bit of snow. But it's a lot of ice under that snow. Someplace with actual winters would have 1) plows, 2) salt trucks, and 3) drivers who can handle it. We just don't. 
4. Hold out for the good snow. Our front walk looked like it had freshly fallen snow on it all week. But really it was ice, then a layer of snow, then another layer of ice. You could walk on it and not leave footprints. That is not the fun snow. That is nasty! Then Friday we got a good 5-6 inches of fluffy powder. Hooray! This is the fun part. We played in it Friday, and by Saturday morning it was wet enough to do some snowmen and Stella made a snow birthday cake. By Saturday afternoon it was almost all gone. 
5. Don't go anywhere. There is just nothing worse than driving in bad weather, getting in an accident, and then wanting to kick yourself for driving in that weather in the first place. I've learned this one the hard way. Three times.
6. Improvise. It is just not worth buying a sled or snow boots for a once-a-year snow day. Stella made do with rain boots, and we just happened to have snow outfits for both kids. We got some excellent advice to use a laundry basket as a sled, but in the end went with a cookie sheet and some upholstery cording. Voila!

no resolutions, just goals

So along with everyone else, I've been thinking a lot lately about new years' resolutions. I find that any time I get to step outside my normal routine I get a new perspective and all kinds of new ideas. That's one of the reasons I love travel so much. Even when I was working a 9-5 job I would get my best ideas while stuck in all-day meetings. I think this is why we all are inspired to make resolutions in January - we have the holiday season to take us out of our normal routines. And once you are out of your routine, you tend to re-examine it and hopefully consider ways you might want to improve your life.

Well last year was anything but routine! So I had a long time to think about this one, and I figured with a c-section and new baby in November, and then the holidays, 2011 was the time to really focus on my fitness goals. So I've had lots of time to recover from the surgery, Roman is doing great, and it is not incredibly hot outside. Now its just a matter of logistics, but my goal for this year is to run a 12-minute mile.

Real runners are laughing at this goal, and non-runners might be thinking that is fast. I can assure you it is not fast. Not even close. But it is faster than I have ever run! It is the benchmark I could never meet growing up - it was the bane of my existence in gym class. I had mild asthma but probably the real problem was that I didn't learn how to breathe right until I was in my 20s. I know that sounds ridiculous, but anytime I tried to run, I would inhale with EVERY SINGLE STEP and hyperventilate after about 100 yards. Finally Stephen helped me figure it out when we first started dating. I use the word "running", but it would probably be more accurate to say "jogging" - my mascot has always been the tortoise!

Since then I have trained for and completed two half marathons. I've done 5ks. All slowly. I know what it takes to do distance, and the mental game involved. But these days my pace really can't even be considered "jogging". We'll be nice and call it jogging or running because the movements are the same, but really it is just some kind of ambulation.

So I finally did my baseline run. 18 minutes and 12 seconds (disgraceful!). I guess I should be glad I can even complete a mile after about a whole year without running. But YIKES! I'm even slower than I thought! I mean people can walk faster than that. (Not me, of course - I checked.) I might be the slowest ambulator in the history of ever. But on the upside, nowhere to go but faster!

I've got the RunKeeperPro app on my phone to track my time, pace and distance. The best part - it gives coaching and cues through the headphones, so I don't even have to look at my phone. I have it set up to coach me through intervals - it will tell me when to run fast, slow, etc. I will also be configuring it to automatically post my runs to Facebook - all this is to help me stay accountable.

It may well take me all year to reach this goal, but I think it is a good one. Simple, portable, and quick. It is snowing outside at the moment, and there is a thick layer of ice underneath that has kept most of the city indoors since Monday night. I have a serious case of cabin fever, but even I know better than to try to run on ice. (I don't have a great track record of "not falling down" either. Something to consider for 2012.) But I'm ready for my next run - I will be doing intervals to get faster. Next run will be 2 minutes at my normal pace, followed by 15 seconds of sprinting. Rinse and repeat. As I improve, I will up the amount of time spent going fast. This should do the trick.

Wish me luck. Encouragement and good-natured taunts will be much appreciated!

stella names that tune

Stella has a habit of renaming her favorite songs. Stephen had the bad luck to be in the car with her the other day and she wanted to hear "the shooby dooby song". He was totally stumped.
So for reference of anyone who may be on a long car ride with my daughter, here are some of her favorite songs and their real names:

The Princess Song:
"Gloria a Te, Cristo Gesu" by Andrea Bocelli. It does have a lot of fanfare.

The Shooby Dooby Song:
"Pennies From Heaven" by Louis Prima

Happy Birthday Baby song:
"Happy Birthday" by the Ting Tings. This one does make sense.

The Sunshine Song:
"Rhythm of Love" by Plain White Ts

The Sing Song:
not sure who sings it, but we all love this one!

The Stella Song:
"Want You Back" by the Jackson 5

The Aunt Becca Song:
"Seven" by Fever Ray. I think she thinks my sister sings this song.

The Hey Hey Hey Song:
"A-Punk" by Vampire Weekend

things i must try to remember

Things are changing so quickly. And I am so very lucky these days. Roman is a good sleeper, just like his sister. Yes, we got two of those mythical sleeping babies. Must have done something right in a past life!

Anyway, things I want to try to remember in the future:

• The way Stella says the word 'umbrella'. I really must get this on video before she learns the right way to say it. It sounds like if you tried to say the word, but instead of saying the "-brella" part you just stuck your tongue in and out of your mouth really quickly.
• How excited she is to see her brother. Every. Freaking. Day. "Look at that BAY-BEE!" She thinks it is hilarious when he looks at her. 
• She wants to get in the car and go somewhere every day. It does not matter where. 
• She is a natural entertainer. There was always the dancing, now there are lots of bows and "thank you so much!". Today she was playing with the post of her brother's bed as if it was a microphone - she introduced everyone she knew with great flair, then moved on to things like "... and now, APPLEJUICE!!"
• Roman is just an incredibly sweet baby, full of coos and smiles. Must get more video. When I tickle Stella in front of him he goes crazy.

There are of course some things I am trying to forget:

• We had to catch Stella up on immunizations and now I think she may be scarred for life. Every day since about September she talks about going to the doctor and getting shots. She also was pretty freaked out when I was in the hospital with IVs and everything. She tried to tell the nurse "you no give owies my momma!"
• She seems to have an innately consumerist view of the world. She asks the same two questions about almost everything - artwork, new clothes, the moon - "you make this, momma?" and "you bought it, momma?" Yes, honey, I bought the moon. You're welcome. 
• Roman's life remains sadly not quite as documented as his sister's. Sorry kid, but so far you are a lot like your sister in the baby department. Super cute, mellow temperament. If you want more coverage, you're going to have to start doing things. If it's any consolation, we do sort of enjoy you more than we did her, just because we are not as freaked out about being new parents.

halloween 2010

Two things happen when you have a baby on November 5:
1. You still have a jack-o-lantern on Dec 30, and
2. It takes you this long to post anything about Halloween.

Stella was a cat. It was easy and she knows how to be a cat, so that worked well. Next year I'm sure she'll want to be a princess or a butterfly or a butterfly princess, so this year we went with the easy win.
Grandma Sugar was in town and we all went up to McKinney to trick-or-treat with our friends the Garlands.

 My nephew Gabe was a pretty bad-ass cowboy:

 And here's the kitty cat herself - meow!

 We had a great time, and I'm thinking that next year maybe all four of us should be Elvis. We'll see.

christmas cookies 2010

Our cookie decorate-off has become an annual tradition, since we did it last year and the year before that. I know we are not the first people in the world to frost sugar cookies, but it is a nice tradition I grew up with. We started doing it when I was very small - my mom was flat broke one year and literally could not afford to trim a christmas tree. So she baked cookies, decorated them, and used a needle and thread to hang them on the tree. We enjoyed it so much we kept doing it every year. As the season went on the lower hanging 'ornaments' would lose frosting and parts of their anatomy. Way fun for us kids.
I should note that such a tradition is only really possible in a desert climate - I would never dare try such a thing in Texas. But dry SLC winters + icing = cookies with some serious staying power.
Here's Stella rolling out the dough with Grandma Jenny:

And now on to the winners!

Best New Artists: Chris, Sarah and Jackson joined the fun this year. Jackson, Stella and Gabe practiced the traditional zen-like technique of frosting a cookie, licking it clean and starting over. Again and again and again.

Honorable Mention in the 3D category, this was the first cookie to add height. Also placed in Best Alternative Use of the Shape.

Best Tribute To A Novelty Folk Duo From New Zealand:

 Best Tribute To A Childhood Classic ("his heart grew three sizes that day")

Best Wearing Your Heart On Your Sleeve:

Best 3D Cookie, also Honorable Mentions in the Death Star and Tarantino categories:

 Best Death Star Cookie:

Tarantino Award for Best Gratuitous Violence Cookie:

Best Mod Cookie:

Best Traditional Cookie:

Best Beatles Tribute, with Honorable Mention for Alternative Use of the Shape:

I was impressed with the creativity of our crew, especially considering the relatively primitive tools we used (frosting, sprinkles, toothpicks). You'd think that since we are on the third year of this tradition we would at least go to the trouble of using pastry bags/tips... next year we will be upping our game for sure!
So, anyone want to come over for cookies?

Dear MJ, Stella loves the dancing santa you sent. cheers!

How we are doing

Roman is two weeks old today. Hooray! I must admit that while I am crazy about that little guy, the early weeks of a baby's life are not my favorite. (Are they anyone's favorite?) Two down!

We got him home and I guess some selective amnesia had set in. Stephen was like, "Didn't Stella just sleep through the night when we brought her home?" Um, no. They come programmed with these 2-4 hour cycles...

Luckily for us my mom is here to help. So grateful for this time with her! She has been amazing helping with Stella and life in general.

When we first got home, I was so excited because nursing was going so well. We really struggled with that when Stella was born. That kid had a teeny tiny mouth, it was like a cosmic joke. She never really got the hang of a good latch and nursing was agonizing. And my milk never really came in, so after about 3 weeks of wondering why she cried so much, we switched to a pump-and-supplement routine and continued it for the first year. So when Roman took to it so easily, I was so happy and relieved. It seemed like things would be so much more simple. We got home on a Monday and I should have knocked on some wood. Or eaten a sandwich.

So this may make me a weirdo, but I eat really well when I am pregnant. Something about that compressed stomach, heartburn, and constant cravings for fresh fruit means I eat a lot of teeny tiny meals, which is great for my metabolism. Add in a very regimented meal plan for the gestational diabetes (it is seriously like nutritional calculus), and I ended up 12 pounds lighter at the end of this pregnancy than I was when I started it. These habits are great for my longer-term goals, but sadly do not support breastfeeding. Apparently I do not eat nearly enough to sustain two people - by Thursday the milk was gone. GONE. Freaking GONE. I thought I was eating enough and am just absolutely shocked by how quickly it all fell apart. Luckily we dropped in on the pediatrician and got this figured out before we all went crazy. Started pumping and supplementing and my sweet baby boy is back to his very promising sleep habits, but those bottle-fed meals have spoiled him and he is now too lazy to nurse. So here we go again. On the bright side, this is a routine I know and am comfortable with. It worked for Stella, and hopefully will be much easier to do this time around without an office job. Plus, other people get to help feed him if they want, which means night shift does not have to automatically be me. I think I was just not meant to nurse a baby. Stephen pointed out that I am not physically meant to deliver a baby either, so  we should just be happy with having two healthy kiddos. We're on to something there!

Roman is approaching his birth weight - he is at 8 lbs 8 oz and a strong little guy. He was holding his head up in the delivery room. He's got a sweet disposition so far, and we can't really complain about the nights - he is sleeping for 5-7 hours at a stretch each night. I am totally knocking on some wood for that one. And I'll probably eat a sandwich too, just in case.

So you know how when you get an epidural they have you sign that form acknowledging the possible downsides? Well, lucky me, I am one of the few who got them. I am leaking spinal fluid and it is causing horrible headaches (like someone is trying to pull my brain out through the back of my skull), numbness and itching. When we first got home I was trying to focus on getting up and around quickly (still very nervous about handling two kids on my own with a c-section recovery), but I hit a few walls. To say the least. So I am on bedrest in hopes that the spinal situation will resolve itself. (If it doesn't, we are in for a trip back to the hospital for something called a blood patch. With a name like that it just can't be good.)
I feel like Rapunzel - I am not allowed to go downstairs. Trying to take advantage of having my mom here and get some good rest, I really really really need this to resolve itself. Soon!

Overall things are good. I have a baby who sleeps (so far!), a daughter who loves being a big sister, an unbelievably wonderful husband, a good support network of family and friends, and my mom is here to take care of me until Monday. I am doing my best to be a good patient and come up with a plan for getting through the holidays. Things could be better, but then again they could also be worse. Focusing on the positive over here!

Meet Roman!

Roman Augustino Mandala

Born 11/5/2010

8 lbs, 12 oz

has mom's hairline but otherwise looks a lot like his sister.

proud daddy!

Stella loves being a big sister - so far! 

Love this pic of Stella and cousin Gabe meeting Roman. Stella is like "wait wait!" and Gabe is like "yikes!"

This was a scheduled c-section. The surgery took a bit longer this time and the epidural morphine took a lot longer to wear off, so we didn't name him until the next day. Probably a good thing we waited, since he was almost a Dmitri. Roman's middle name is in honor of Stephen's grandfather, and there were many happy tears when we shared that with his side of the family.

complications

a lot has happened so i shall try to summarize.

this pregnancy has been brutal. i got better after the first trimester nausea, but never quite back to feeling like myself. spent most of the summer in a nasty funk.

lots of crying,

too tired to do anything,

spirals of self-doubt.

friends and family concerned.

not sure what to do.

talk to husband.

talk to dr.

culprit is revealed - gestational diabetes.

absolutely devastated, feel like complete failure.

don't want anyone to know.

feel guilty - convinced that it is my fault - too heavy, not enough workouts, etc....

and then... treatment starts. diet and exercise.

feel better immediately.

not crazy!

realize close friends have also had this.

feel a little better about it.

blood sugar checks 4 times a day. mostly good, but some stubborn overnight numbers.

...which correlates with freaky pregnancy hormones that peak at night.

start insulin. self-injections at bedtime.

numbers are great.

medical team says all this caused by hormones, not poor health habits.

this will go away.

feel a lot better about that.

weirdest pregnancy - miserable first 8 months, feel great at the end.

all this has robbed me of time to get excited.

have stayed mostly away from this blog and facebook -

did not want to document ambivalence, sadness, etc that i hoped would soon lift.

but here i am, alive and well, baby boy will be here friday.

nursery is ready, reinforcements are here.

stella is excited.

nervous about next six weeks or so.

planning for worst, hoping for best... what else can you do?!

i am good

i am happy

this child will be loved.

oh and i hope this one looks something like me :)

here we go!

oh boy!

Well, he's a stubborn little bugger, but after 5 sonograms we finally got a definitive answer. My floating uterus made it tough to get good sonogram images (at one point they couldn't even find a baby) and he didn't help matters by keeping his knees together.

But it's a boy! Due Nov 12. I'm feeling pretty good, just kind of tired. And unfortunately in that middle stage where I don't look pregnant to anyone who doesn't know me. To the rest of the world I just look big. Not a great feeling!

So it looks like we need to change the name of this blog, oh and think of a name for a boy. Now accepting suggestions for both :)

New skills = new projects! yay!

My fab friend Jenny started a once-a-month learn-to-quilt group in January. I'm always up for learning new skills so this was the perfect opportunity to ditch my crappy hand-me-down sewing machine. I had always had an old machine and could get by with it, but it was so frustrating to try to sew anything on it. Plus I never really learned the right way to sew anything, so I was pretty limited - not that I let that stop me! I still made Stella's first Halloween costume (Carmen Miranda), curtains, a bedskirt, a duvet cover, a stuffed kayak for my niece, and some other things over the years. I guess you could say that what I lacked in sewing technique I made up for with enthusiasm and a hot glue gun. :)

So I bought a new machine. And dang if it isn't a million times easier to use! Around the same time, I happened to meet a woman who taught sewing lessons. She focused on apparel - yay! Just what I needed. The lessons were so fantastic, everything from understanding fabrics to reading patterns to the little tricks that make things look professional. If she was still giving lessons I would absolutely post her info, but I believe she has moved on.

So this was in January/February... then the morning sickness happened and it was like I spent two months in a coma! I was worried I might forget everything I learned.

I was delighted to find out that this was not the case. Here are some of the things I have made so far:

Pink ruffled top with shorts (and also pants). Made from a pattern, this works well since Stella is dress-obsessed. The ruffles are a good compromise when I want her to wear shorts or pants, she still feels like she's in a dress.

This green dress was also from a pattern, but I changed some things up. It was fully lined with a petticoat, but for a summer dress I just lined the bodice. She wore this to a super fun block party in SLC - it was a surprise for my Grandma. Do I even have to say that we danced all night?

Ok so this is where I started to get a little bit more ambitious - I had a pair of PJ pants that I loved, but they had a tear that made them unwearable. I loved the striped linen-type fabric, so I decided to try to make a dress for Stella out of them. There was not enough fabric to work from a traditional pattern, so I put together an original design. This kind of project is so exciting for me - I mean there is creativity in sewing from a pattern too - finding it, modifying it, choosing the fabrics, colors, textures, etc. - but this is the kind of project that I really love. Sketching something out and then making it real - figuring out all the little engineering details - problem solving... Love the challenge, love the process. This is the kind of thing that gets me so energized! Anyway, here it is. I added a floral print in the same palette for the sash and bottom of the skirt, turned the stripes sideways for the bodice, and attempted my second zipper. The sleeve straps are made from what was the waistband of the pants - it had a pink lace trim that I just had to incorporate somehow. I love Project Runway and this dress was so much fun, just like some of their challenges where they take one thing and turn it into something new.

More to come! I made myself a dress yesterday, but I really need to get a haircut before I can do a photo...

Stella the fish

It has been far too long since I posted an update about my sweet baby girl. She turned 2 in April and has such a fun personality.

She loves to dance, jump and play in the pool. We started swimming lessons this summer and she is doing great. She jumps to you from the side, blows bubbles and even goes underwater for short bits. I was thrilled last week in lessons when she actually swam - ok, "swam" - to the wall. The teacher had me stand about 5 feet from the wall, hold her hips and 1-2-3, launch her forward. She floundered more than she technically swam, but she made it and said "do again?" so I was thrilled! In the fall she'll be able to start classes without me - it will be good to build her water skills, especially for next summer when I will have two little tadpoles...

What else... she is singing, all the time, real songs and ones she makes up herself. She is addicted to pretty dresses and apple juice. She gets so excited if I wear a dress too, and notices when I do my hair. Sadly this does not reflect well on me!!!

I'm happy being home, life is good. Stephen loves his job, I stay busy with freelance projects and my own creative projects - more on that to come...

Round 2

Another reason I can't seem to keep up with things... we are expecting a new baby in November and I am trying to come out of that first trimester haze. All I want to do is sleep!

All my body wants to do is throw up!

And then sleep.

I am down 21 pounds and feel like I don't know what day it is.

Vitamin B6 helps a lot. I know I said it with Stella too, but this time I mean it: I am so not doing this again!

For anyone (guys) who doesn't know what this is like, imagine being seasick. For 7+ weeks straight. And you have to just go on with your day. All this tiredness and not feeling good is really starting to get me down.

Today I had a sonogram, and I know it is such a cliche to say something like this, but it really did make me feel a little better knowing this is all happening for a good reason. I know things will get better soon, but I am having a hard time feeling it. There is definitely an optimist in me, but right now she is tired and weak!!! Send good vibes for me.