Saturday, June 28, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
A new phase for our family
I went back to work this week, and I have to admit that it was not as difficult as I thought it might be. Helps a lot that I love my job and the place where I work, which is very supportive of working moms - they are actually fairly progressive. Helps even more that we are so lucky to not have to put Stella in day care.
That's right, decades of feminism have brought us to a fantastic place - I am going back to work and Stephen is now a stay-at-home dad.
We always said we wanted to have one of us be home with our kids. I mean it is great that good day care is out there, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if we had to use it. I'm not trying to start a new skirmish in the mommy wars here. But we think that what's best for us is that one of us be around. And we are very fortunate to be able to make that happen.
So, how did we get here? Stephen and his business partner sold the company they started over 10 years ago while I was pregnant. In fact, they got an offer to buy the same day we found out I was pregnant. The offer was too good to refuse. Talk about a sleepless night, but I digress...
So we found ourselves with a new set of options in front of us. One option was for Stephen to get a job somewhere else, but we thought it best to not add the pressure (and hours) of proving oneself at a time when so much attention would be needed at home. Plus it didn't seem fair to a new employer to start a job, work a few weeks, and then take a long paternity leave, which he definitely wanted to do.
So he used the interim time to start a new company that would not require a lot of formal office time. August Jean Property Company is up and running with some renovations and rentals. He's got things at a manageable level for this year, and we won't look at expanding things in that realm until next year. So far so good.
He always said he would be willing to stay home so that I could continue my career. Glad he said it before this all came about; it makes me feel like he really did mean it.
So we've both been at home with Stella since she was born. It has been fantastic and I can't imagine going through this without him there. I highly recommend paternity leave to any new parents - even if you have to take it unpaid. It is so amazing to figure all this stuff out together. I am completely confident in Stephen's abilities, he is an amazing dad.
And he is really getting a chance that not a lot of fathers get, to spend this kind of time with their kids. And at a time when so much is happening. Seems like she changes a bit every day.
So going back to work has not really been too bad. I don't have any anxiety over what kind of care she is getting, which is such a relief. So many people at my office have been so supportive, checking in on me to make sure I am handling it ok - it just reminds me of how hard this would be if I had to leave her with strangers. We are very lucky. I'll let Stephen post his own thoughts on how his first week in this new phase has gone.
That's right, decades of feminism have brought us to a fantastic place - I am going back to work and Stephen is now a stay-at-home dad.
We always said we wanted to have one of us be home with our kids. I mean it is great that good day care is out there, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if we had to use it. I'm not trying to start a new skirmish in the mommy wars here. But we think that what's best for us is that one of us be around. And we are very fortunate to be able to make that happen.
So, how did we get here? Stephen and his business partner sold the company they started over 10 years ago while I was pregnant. In fact, they got an offer to buy the same day we found out I was pregnant. The offer was too good to refuse. Talk about a sleepless night, but I digress...
So we found ourselves with a new set of options in front of us. One option was for Stephen to get a job somewhere else, but we thought it best to not add the pressure (and hours) of proving oneself at a time when so much attention would be needed at home. Plus it didn't seem fair to a new employer to start a job, work a few weeks, and then take a long paternity leave, which he definitely wanted to do.
So he used the interim time to start a new company that would not require a lot of formal office time. August Jean Property Company is up and running with some renovations and rentals. He's got things at a manageable level for this year, and we won't look at expanding things in that realm until next year. So far so good.
He always said he would be willing to stay home so that I could continue my career. Glad he said it before this all came about; it makes me feel like he really did mean it.
So we've both been at home with Stella since she was born. It has been fantastic and I can't imagine going through this without him there. I highly recommend paternity leave to any new parents - even if you have to take it unpaid. It is so amazing to figure all this stuff out together. I am completely confident in Stephen's abilities, he is an amazing dad.
And he is really getting a chance that not a lot of fathers get, to spend this kind of time with their kids. And at a time when so much is happening. Seems like she changes a bit every day.
So going back to work has not really been too bad. I don't have any anxiety over what kind of care she is getting, which is such a relief. So many people at my office have been so supportive, checking in on me to make sure I am handling it ok - it just reminds me of how hard this would be if I had to leave her with strangers. We are very lucky. I'll let Stephen post his own thoughts on how his first week in this new phase has gone.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
that's right, a baby straightjacket
I heard a few comments surprised at the concept of the baby straightjacket. Sounds weird but it really does work. Stella slept for like eleven hours last night.
The concept is that it keeps her arms from flailing around uncontrollably (since she can't yet control them) and waking her up. Instead they stay tucked in and she gets to feel all snuggly and secure.
Soon she will figure out that her arms are attached to the rest of her body and then we won't need this. Kind of gets me thinking of all the things we go through in life where we start out so unaware of what is actually in our control. So easy to get frustrated...
Here's a picture of her ready for bed:
The concept is that it keeps her arms from flailing around uncontrollably (since she can't yet control them) and waking her up. Instead they stay tucked in and she gets to feel all snuggly and secure.
Soon she will figure out that her arms are attached to the rest of her body and then we won't need this. Kind of gets me thinking of all the things we go through in life where we start out so unaware of what is actually in our control. So easy to get frustrated...
Here's a picture of her ready for bed:
birthday tales
As we emerge from the babyland haze I realized that there were a couple of things that happened on Stella's birthday worth documenting. In the exhaustion and euphoria that followed, I don't think we told these stories to many people. Here goes:
The Distractor
A little known fact about me is that I am a fainter. I wasn't really much of a fainter until I had my appendix out in an Italian hospital during college. A sweet old nun (who spoke no english) was trying to draw blood and having no luck. Finally she started flicking the arteries on my wrist and in my desperation to think of how exactly to say "please don't puncture my artery I could bleed to death or get a bubble and DIE" in Italian, I panicked and passed out. Ever since then, I am not so good with needles or staying particularly conscious during medical procedures.
So usually when I have to have blood drawn, I just give the nurse a heads up that I am a fainter, and she makes sure to ask me a lot of questions to distract me and I don't look. Sometimes they make me lay down. It works pretty well most of the time.
I told Stephen this ahead of time. I didn't want him to see me faint and think that things were worse than they really were. The last two times I have had surgery I have fainted before the party got started, and since a c-section is a surgery and an epidural is the mother of all needles, I thought it best he know that this might just be how things roll for me.
He was glad for the heads up and offered to distract me. He took this so seriously that he even prepared topics for said distraction ahead of time. And told me about them - he planned to ask me about my favorite wineries. Rookie move, I must say. Distractions can't really be pre-scripted, but in retrospect I do admire his dedication to the task.
So there we are in the pre-op room. I've changed into my gown and he and my sister are with me. The nurse comes in to start my IV and Stephen realizes that his moment has come. Here's how it went down:
STEPHEN [with dramatic flourish]: "So, honey, your sister was just on a wine trip..."
ME [seeing where this is going, kind of annoyed and totally not distracted]: "uh-huh..."
STEPHEN: "...and she went to a lot of wineries. What are some of YOUR favorite..." [catches sight of nurse about to insert needle into my arm, absolutely horrified] "...ARM!"
He was transfixed by the sight. My distractor succumbed to his own distraction. My sister and I laughed hysterically and the nurse, without missing a beat, replied "I think she likes the left one"
A Sign?
During the surgery I was pretty immobile and very sleepy. Toward the end I was looking around my limited field of vision and noticed that the word "stellar" was printed on the side of the overhead surgical lamp. As they were finishing things up, I tried to point this out to Stephen. I told him it was a sign for what the baby's name should be.
Unfortunately, he was standing facing the other side of the lamp.
"You want to name our baby SkyTron? Honey, that's a horrible name!"
And so if you wondered why we didn't name her the first day, now you know... we thought it best for me to come down off all the narcotics first.
The Distractor
A little known fact about me is that I am a fainter. I wasn't really much of a fainter until I had my appendix out in an Italian hospital during college. A sweet old nun (who spoke no english) was trying to draw blood and having no luck. Finally she started flicking the arteries on my wrist and in my desperation to think of how exactly to say "please don't puncture my artery I could bleed to death or get a bubble and DIE" in Italian, I panicked and passed out. Ever since then, I am not so good with needles or staying particularly conscious during medical procedures.
So usually when I have to have blood drawn, I just give the nurse a heads up that I am a fainter, and she makes sure to ask me a lot of questions to distract me and I don't look. Sometimes they make me lay down. It works pretty well most of the time.
I told Stephen this ahead of time. I didn't want him to see me faint and think that things were worse than they really were. The last two times I have had surgery I have fainted before the party got started, and since a c-section is a surgery and an epidural is the mother of all needles, I thought it best he know that this might just be how things roll for me.
He was glad for the heads up and offered to distract me. He took this so seriously that he even prepared topics for said distraction ahead of time. And told me about them - he planned to ask me about my favorite wineries. Rookie move, I must say. Distractions can't really be pre-scripted, but in retrospect I do admire his dedication to the task.
So there we are in the pre-op room. I've changed into my gown and he and my sister are with me. The nurse comes in to start my IV and Stephen realizes that his moment has come. Here's how it went down:
STEPHEN [with dramatic flourish]: "So, honey, your sister was just on a wine trip..."
ME [seeing where this is going, kind of annoyed and totally not distracted]: "uh-huh..."
STEPHEN: "...and she went to a lot of wineries. What are some of YOUR favorite..." [catches sight of nurse about to insert needle into my arm, absolutely horrified] "...ARM!"
He was transfixed by the sight. My distractor succumbed to his own distraction. My sister and I laughed hysterically and the nurse, without missing a beat, replied "I think she likes the left one"
A Sign?
During the surgery I was pretty immobile and very sleepy. Toward the end I was looking around my limited field of vision and noticed that the word "stellar" was printed on the side of the overhead surgical lamp. As they were finishing things up, I tried to point this out to Stephen. I told him it was a sign for what the baby's name should be.
Unfortunately, he was standing facing the other side of the lamp.
"You want to name our baby SkyTron? Honey, that's a horrible name!"
And so if you wondered why we didn't name her the first day, now you know... we thought it best for me to come down off all the narcotics first.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
naked baby pic
This is a picture of Stella at 3 weeks. She's much bigger now but thought I would share the pic.
It takes a certain amount of bravery to do a naked baby shot... there was another picture that contained a small puddle.
It takes a certain amount of bravery to do a naked baby shot... there was another picture that contained a small puddle.
a few of my favorite things...
There is a mind-blowing array of baby products out there. Most of the time, I can say with confidence that I don't need something, foolishly thinking that I will never encounter that particular situation. However, like all new parents, hardly a day goes by where I don't have the opportunity to eat my words.
Three things people told me I needed that I don't (yet anyway):
1. wipes warmer (???)
2. bottle warmer - we have trained Stella to like her meals at room temperature or even chilled. we live in a place with hot summers, and i just can't see giving warm bottles in july.
3. diaper genie - I find that a small wastebasket, emptied frequently, works just fine. so far, anyway...
Three things that genuinely make life better and easier:
1. the sling. we have a maya wrap tnd on many occasions it has been a sanity saver. just put her in it and start walking around; baby is asleep in less than three minutes.
2. the little baby straightjacket. it may sound barbaric, but it really helps her sleep better. like swaddling her in a blanket - but taken a step further with the addition of velcro. yay velcro!!
3. the bouncy seat. i can bounce her with one foot while i read or do something else. yay for bouncing!
Three things people told me I needed that I don't (yet anyway):
1. wipes warmer (???)
2. bottle warmer - we have trained Stella to like her meals at room temperature or even chilled. we live in a place with hot summers, and i just can't see giving warm bottles in july.
3. diaper genie - I find that a small wastebasket, emptied frequently, works just fine. so far, anyway...
Three things that genuinely make life better and easier:
1. the sling. we have a maya wrap tnd on many occasions it has been a sanity saver. just put her in it and start walking around; baby is asleep in less than three minutes.
2. the little baby straightjacket. it may sound barbaric, but it really helps her sleep better. like swaddling her in a blanket - but taken a step further with the addition of velcro. yay velcro!!
3. the bouncy seat. i can bounce her with one foot while i read or do something else. yay for bouncing!
Monday, June 16, 2008
eleven and a half pounds of baby!
Stella had her two month check up today. she is in the 90th percentile for head circumference and 75th percentile for height and weight. 11 lbs 9 oz. 23 inches long. so far so good!
here are some of my favorite recent pictures, you can see more on our Flickr site.
here are some of my favorite recent pictures, you can see more on our Flickr site.
Monday, June 9, 2008
baby's first karaoke, mom's first trek
Judy and her boyfriend Josh are visiting, so Stella has gotten lots of "firsts". Saturday evening she got her first karaoke night. We didn't stay long but it was fun, almost everyone in our group got up and did something. Chris opened the night with Ah-ha's "Take on me" - brave man. Judy followed with "I touch myself". Josh did "Fulsom Prison Blues" and Wes did "need you tonight" by inxs. There were many more but I can't remember them at the moment. We left before my song came up, and Stella will just have to save her "midnight train to georgia" for next time. we didn't want to overdo her. she did great though, really likes music.
Then on Sunday we went to the pool to hang out and have pizza. We brought the bouncy seat and kept the baby in the shade, she seemed to enjoy being outside and looking at all the new things.
Saturday morning Judy, Josh, Wes and I went on a long bike ride - 20 miles. We started at my house, rode to White Rock Lake, around the lake and back home. Everyone did great and I am glad to know I can still do that sort of thing. I think I am probably banned from picking the break spot from now on though - we were going to stop at the halfway mark for an apple break, but I was thinking there was a great spot "just a little further" - ended up stopping about 3/4 the way through. Also in my haste to get us out the door before it got too hot, I neglected to put sunscreen on anywhere but my face. Of course we were gone three hours in the hottest part of the day, and I have the lines to prove it. Oh well. At least if someone mentions the sunburn, I can mention the 20 mile bike ride. I won't be mentioning the awful chills I am getting from the sunburn, or the pitiful bedtime tears... luckily I have a very patient husband who takes good care of me.
Then on Sunday we went to the pool to hang out and have pizza. We brought the bouncy seat and kept the baby in the shade, she seemed to enjoy being outside and looking at all the new things.
Saturday morning Judy, Josh, Wes and I went on a long bike ride - 20 miles. We started at my house, rode to White Rock Lake, around the lake and back home. Everyone did great and I am glad to know I can still do that sort of thing. I think I am probably banned from picking the break spot from now on though - we were going to stop at the halfway mark for an apple break, but I was thinking there was a great spot "just a little further" - ended up stopping about 3/4 the way through. Also in my haste to get us out the door before it got too hot, I neglected to put sunscreen on anywhere but my face. Of course we were gone three hours in the hottest part of the day, and I have the lines to prove it. Oh well. At least if someone mentions the sunburn, I can mention the 20 mile bike ride. I won't be mentioning the awful chills I am getting from the sunburn, or the pitiful bedtime tears... luckily I have a very patient husband who takes good care of me.
bathtime
This kid loves taking a bath. I think she will be a swimmer like her mom.
We were using the baby bath hammock type thing that goes in the tub, but one day I thought I would just get in with her and hold her. She LOVED it. Like a little baby hot tub party. With the hammock thing, she could never be all the way in the water, so she would just be cold and constantly sliding down the seat. When we hold her in the water, she can float around and just relax. It is so much fun. My sister Judy did the honors in these pics (in a bathing suit), they got some good bonding time. Stella loves to float on her back, she smiles and coos the whole time. It is also a good way to just relax her if she's fussy. It's sort of like baby valium.
We were using the baby bath hammock type thing that goes in the tub, but one day I thought I would just get in with her and hold her. She LOVED it. Like a little baby hot tub party. With the hammock thing, she could never be all the way in the water, so she would just be cold and constantly sliding down the seat. When we hold her in the water, she can float around and just relax. It is so much fun. My sister Judy did the honors in these pics (in a bathing suit), they got some good bonding time. Stella loves to float on her back, she smiles and coos the whole time. It is also a good way to just relax her if she's fussy. It's sort of like baby valium.
quite the conversationalist
Stella is having little "conversations" now, it is pretty cute. We talk to her and when we pause she jumps in with her little coos and squeaks. I like to think that she is figuring out that people make noises at each other when they want to express themselves, so this is the first step. It's pretty funny and we have been leaving voice mail messages... my god, are we those parents who put their babies on the phone?
Thursday, June 5, 2008
baby pattern baldness
It is finally starting to happen. I had hoped it wouldn't, but here we are. Her beautiful head of hair is starting to get noticeably thinner in a stripe on the back and sides of her head. Sort of the opposite of her daddy's hair.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Smiling Stella
posted a few snapshots we took yesterday on our Flickr site, she was moving too fast to get the full smile, but these are some good happy baby shots.
Mussolina!
"Arise, minions, and do as I command!"
"You there, take your division and cover the western front"
She is 100% sleeping in these pictures.
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