A new phase for our family

I went back to work this week, and I have to admit that it was not as difficult as I thought it might be. Helps a lot that I love my job and the place where I work, which is very supportive of working moms - they are actually fairly progressive. Helps even more that we are so lucky to not have to put Stella in day care.

That's right, decades of feminism have brought us to a fantastic place - I am going back to work and Stephen is now a stay-at-home dad.

We always said we wanted to have one of us be home with our kids. I mean it is great that good day care is out there, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if we had to use it. I'm not trying to start a new skirmish in the mommy wars here. But we think that what's best for us is that one of us be around. And we are very fortunate to be able to make that happen.

So, how did we get here? Stephen and his business partner sold the company they started over 10 years ago while I was pregnant. In fact, they got an offer to buy the same day we found out I was pregnant. The offer was too good to refuse. Talk about a sleepless night, but I digress...

So we found ourselves with a new set of options in front of us. One option was for Stephen to get a job somewhere else, but we thought it best to not add the pressure (and hours) of proving oneself at a time when so much attention would be needed at home. Plus it didn't seem fair to a new employer to start a job, work a few weeks, and then take a long paternity leave, which he definitely wanted to do.

So he used the interim time to start a new company that would not require a lot of formal office time. August Jean Property Company is up and running with some renovations and rentals. He's got things at a manageable level for this year, and we won't look at expanding things in that realm until next year. So far so good.

He always said he would be willing to stay home so that I could continue my career. Glad he said it before this all came about; it makes me feel like he really did mean it.

So we've both been at home with Stella since she was born. It has been fantastic and I can't imagine going through this without him there. I highly recommend paternity leave to any new parents - even if you have to take it unpaid. It is so amazing to figure all this stuff out together. I am completely confident in Stephen's abilities, he is an amazing dad.

And he is really getting a chance that not a lot of fathers get, to spend this kind of time with their kids. And at a time when so much is happening. Seems like she changes a bit every day.

So going back to work has not really been too bad. I don't have any anxiety over what kind of care she is getting, which is such a relief. So many people at my office have been so supportive, checking in on me to make sure I am handling it ok - it just reminds me of how hard this would be if I had to leave her with strangers. We are very lucky. I'll let Stephen post his own thoughts on how his first week in this new phase has gone.