halloween 2010

Two things happen when you have a baby on November 5:
1. You still have a jack-o-lantern on Dec 30, and
2. It takes you this long to post anything about Halloween.

Stella was a cat. It was easy and she knows how to be a cat, so that worked well. Next year I'm sure she'll want to be a princess or a butterfly or a butterfly princess, so this year we went with the easy win.
Grandma Sugar was in town and we all went up to McKinney to trick-or-treat with our friends the Garlands.

 My nephew Gabe was a pretty bad-ass cowboy:

 And here's the kitty cat herself - meow!

 We had a great time, and I'm thinking that next year maybe all four of us should be Elvis. We'll see.

christmas cookies 2010

Our cookie decorate-off has become an annual tradition, since we did it last year and the year before that. I know we are not the first people in the world to frost sugar cookies, but it is a nice tradition I grew up with. We started doing it when I was very small - my mom was flat broke one year and literally could not afford to trim a christmas tree. So she baked cookies, decorated them, and used a needle and thread to hang them on the tree. We enjoyed it so much we kept doing it every year. As the season went on the lower hanging 'ornaments' would lose frosting and parts of their anatomy. Way fun for us kids.
I should note that such a tradition is only really possible in a desert climate - I would never dare try such a thing in Texas. But dry SLC winters + icing = cookies with some serious staying power.
Here's Stella rolling out the dough with Grandma Jenny:

And now on to the winners!

Best New Artists: Chris, Sarah and Jackson joined the fun this year. Jackson, Stella and Gabe practiced the traditional zen-like technique of frosting a cookie, licking it clean and starting over. Again and again and again.

Honorable Mention in the 3D category, this was the first cookie to add height. Also placed in Best Alternative Use of the Shape.

Best Tribute To A Novelty Folk Duo From New Zealand:

 Best Tribute To A Childhood Classic ("his heart grew three sizes that day")

Best Wearing Your Heart On Your Sleeve:

Best 3D Cookie, also Honorable Mentions in the Death Star and Tarantino categories:

 Best Death Star Cookie:

Tarantino Award for Best Gratuitous Violence Cookie:

Best Mod Cookie:

Best Traditional Cookie:

Best Beatles Tribute, with Honorable Mention for Alternative Use of the Shape:

I was impressed with the creativity of our crew, especially considering the relatively primitive tools we used (frosting, sprinkles, toothpicks). You'd think that since we are on the third year of this tradition we would at least go to the trouble of using pastry bags/tips... next year we will be upping our game for sure!
So, anyone want to come over for cookies?

Dear MJ, Stella loves the dancing santa you sent. cheers!

How we are doing

Roman is two weeks old today. Hooray! I must admit that while I am crazy about that little guy, the early weeks of a baby's life are not my favorite. (Are they anyone's favorite?) Two down!

We got him home and I guess some selective amnesia had set in. Stephen was like, "Didn't Stella just sleep through the night when we brought her home?" Um, no. They come programmed with these 2-4 hour cycles...

Luckily for us my mom is here to help. So grateful for this time with her! She has been amazing helping with Stella and life in general.

When we first got home, I was so excited because nursing was going so well. We really struggled with that when Stella was born. That kid had a teeny tiny mouth, it was like a cosmic joke. She never really got the hang of a good latch and nursing was agonizing. And my milk never really came in, so after about 3 weeks of wondering why she cried so much, we switched to a pump-and-supplement routine and continued it for the first year. So when Roman took to it so easily, I was so happy and relieved. It seemed like things would be so much more simple. We got home on a Monday and I should have knocked on some wood. Or eaten a sandwich.

So this may make me a weirdo, but I eat really well when I am pregnant. Something about that compressed stomach, heartburn, and constant cravings for fresh fruit means I eat a lot of teeny tiny meals, which is great for my metabolism. Add in a very regimented meal plan for the gestational diabetes (it is seriously like nutritional calculus), and I ended up 12 pounds lighter at the end of this pregnancy than I was when I started it. These habits are great for my longer-term goals, but sadly do not support breastfeeding. Apparently I do not eat nearly enough to sustain two people - by Thursday the milk was gone. GONE. Freaking GONE. I thought I was eating enough and am just absolutely shocked by how quickly it all fell apart. Luckily we dropped in on the pediatrician and got this figured out before we all went crazy. Started pumping and supplementing and my sweet baby boy is back to his very promising sleep habits, but those bottle-fed meals have spoiled him and he is now too lazy to nurse. So here we go again. On the bright side, this is a routine I know and am comfortable with. It worked for Stella, and hopefully will be much easier to do this time around without an office job. Plus, other people get to help feed him if they want, which means night shift does not have to automatically be me. I think I was just not meant to nurse a baby. Stephen pointed out that I am not physically meant to deliver a baby either, so  we should just be happy with having two healthy kiddos. We're on to something there!

Roman is approaching his birth weight - he is at 8 lbs 8 oz and a strong little guy. He was holding his head up in the delivery room. He's got a sweet disposition so far, and we can't really complain about the nights - he is sleeping for 5-7 hours at a stretch each night. I am totally knocking on some wood for that one. And I'll probably eat a sandwich too, just in case.

So you know how when you get an epidural they have you sign that form acknowledging the possible downsides? Well, lucky me, I am one of the few who got them. I am leaking spinal fluid and it is causing horrible headaches (like someone is trying to pull my brain out through the back of my skull), numbness and itching. When we first got home I was trying to focus on getting up and around quickly (still very nervous about handling two kids on my own with a c-section recovery), but I hit a few walls. To say the least. So I am on bedrest in hopes that the spinal situation will resolve itself. (If it doesn't, we are in for a trip back to the hospital for something called a blood patch. With a name like that it just can't be good.)
I feel like Rapunzel - I am not allowed to go downstairs. Trying to take advantage of having my mom here and get some good rest, I really really really need this to resolve itself. Soon!

Overall things are good. I have a baby who sleeps (so far!), a daughter who loves being a big sister, an unbelievably wonderful husband, a good support network of family and friends, and my mom is here to take care of me until Monday. I am doing my best to be a good patient and come up with a plan for getting through the holidays. Things could be better, but then again they could also be worse. Focusing on the positive over here!

Meet Roman!

Roman Augustino Mandala

Born 11/5/2010

8 lbs, 12 oz

has mom's hairline but otherwise looks a lot like his sister.

proud daddy!

Stella loves being a big sister - so far! 

Love this pic of Stella and cousin Gabe meeting Roman. Stella is like "wait wait!" and Gabe is like "yikes!"

This was a scheduled c-section. The surgery took a bit longer this time and the epidural morphine took a lot longer to wear off, so we didn't name him until the next day. Probably a good thing we waited, since he was almost a Dmitri. Roman's middle name is in honor of Stephen's grandfather, and there were many happy tears when we shared that with his side of the family.

complications

a lot has happened so i shall try to summarize.

this pregnancy has been brutal. i got better after the first trimester nausea, but never quite back to feeling like myself. spent most of the summer in a nasty funk.

lots of crying,

too tired to do anything,

spirals of self-doubt.

friends and family concerned.

not sure what to do.

talk to husband.

talk to dr.

culprit is revealed - gestational diabetes.

absolutely devastated, feel like complete failure.

don't want anyone to know.

feel guilty - convinced that it is my fault - too heavy, not enough workouts, etc....

and then... treatment starts. diet and exercise.

feel better immediately.

not crazy!

realize close friends have also had this.

feel a little better about it.

blood sugar checks 4 times a day. mostly good, but some stubborn overnight numbers.

...which correlates with freaky pregnancy hormones that peak at night.

start insulin. self-injections at bedtime.

numbers are great.

medical team says all this caused by hormones, not poor health habits.

this will go away.

feel a lot better about that.

weirdest pregnancy - miserable first 8 months, feel great at the end.

all this has robbed me of time to get excited.

have stayed mostly away from this blog and facebook -

did not want to document ambivalence, sadness, etc that i hoped would soon lift.

but here i am, alive and well, baby boy will be here friday.

nursery is ready, reinforcements are here.

stella is excited.

nervous about next six weeks or so.

planning for worst, hoping for best... what else can you do?!

i am good

i am happy

this child will be loved.

oh and i hope this one looks something like me :)

here we go!

oh boy!

Well, he's a stubborn little bugger, but after 5 sonograms we finally got a definitive answer. My floating uterus made it tough to get good sonogram images (at one point they couldn't even find a baby) and he didn't help matters by keeping his knees together.

But it's a boy! Due Nov 12. I'm feeling pretty good, just kind of tired. And unfortunately in that middle stage where I don't look pregnant to anyone who doesn't know me. To the rest of the world I just look big. Not a great feeling!

So it looks like we need to change the name of this blog, oh and think of a name for a boy. Now accepting suggestions for both :)

New skills = new projects! yay!

My fab friend Jenny started a once-a-month learn-to-quilt group in January. I'm always up for learning new skills so this was the perfect opportunity to ditch my crappy hand-me-down sewing machine. I had always had an old machine and could get by with it, but it was so frustrating to try to sew anything on it. Plus I never really learned the right way to sew anything, so I was pretty limited - not that I let that stop me! I still made Stella's first Halloween costume (Carmen Miranda), curtains, a bedskirt, a duvet cover, a stuffed kayak for my niece, and some other things over the years. I guess you could say that what I lacked in sewing technique I made up for with enthusiasm and a hot glue gun. :)

So I bought a new machine. And dang if it isn't a million times easier to use! Around the same time, I happened to meet a woman who taught sewing lessons. She focused on apparel - yay! Just what I needed. The lessons were so fantastic, everything from understanding fabrics to reading patterns to the little tricks that make things look professional. If she was still giving lessons I would absolutely post her info, but I believe she has moved on.

So this was in January/February... then the morning sickness happened and it was like I spent two months in a coma! I was worried I might forget everything I learned.

I was delighted to find out that this was not the case. Here are some of the things I have made so far:

Pink ruffled top with shorts (and also pants). Made from a pattern, this works well since Stella is dress-obsessed. The ruffles are a good compromise when I want her to wear shorts or pants, she still feels like she's in a dress.

This green dress was also from a pattern, but I changed some things up. It was fully lined with a petticoat, but for a summer dress I just lined the bodice. She wore this to a super fun block party in SLC - it was a surprise for my Grandma. Do I even have to say that we danced all night?

Ok so this is where I started to get a little bit more ambitious - I had a pair of PJ pants that I loved, but they had a tear that made them unwearable. I loved the striped linen-type fabric, so I decided to try to make a dress for Stella out of them. There was not enough fabric to work from a traditional pattern, so I put together an original design. This kind of project is so exciting for me - I mean there is creativity in sewing from a pattern too - finding it, modifying it, choosing the fabrics, colors, textures, etc. - but this is the kind of project that I really love. Sketching something out and then making it real - figuring out all the little engineering details - problem solving... Love the challenge, love the process. This is the kind of thing that gets me so energized! Anyway, here it is. I added a floral print in the same palette for the sash and bottom of the skirt, turned the stripes sideways for the bodice, and attempted my second zipper. The sleeve straps are made from what was the waistband of the pants - it had a pink lace trim that I just had to incorporate somehow. I love Project Runway and this dress was so much fun, just like some of their challenges where they take one thing and turn it into something new.

More to come! I made myself a dress yesterday, but I really need to get a haircut before I can do a photo...

Stella the fish

It has been far too long since I posted an update about my sweet baby girl. She turned 2 in April and has such a fun personality.

She loves to dance, jump and play in the pool. We started swimming lessons this summer and she is doing great. She jumps to you from the side, blows bubbles and even goes underwater for short bits. I was thrilled last week in lessons when she actually swam - ok, "swam" - to the wall. The teacher had me stand about 5 feet from the wall, hold her hips and 1-2-3, launch her forward. She floundered more than she technically swam, but she made it and said "do again?" so I was thrilled! In the fall she'll be able to start classes without me - it will be good to build her water skills, especially for next summer when I will have two little tadpoles...

What else... she is singing, all the time, real songs and ones she makes up herself. She is addicted to pretty dresses and apple juice. She gets so excited if I wear a dress too, and notices when I do my hair. Sadly this does not reflect well on me!!!

I'm happy being home, life is good. Stephen loves his job, I stay busy with freelance projects and my own creative projects - more on that to come...

Round 2

Another reason I can't seem to keep up with things... we are expecting a new baby in November and I am trying to come out of that first trimester haze. All I want to do is sleep!

All my body wants to do is throw up!

And then sleep.

I am down 21 pounds and feel like I don't know what day it is.

Vitamin B6 helps a lot. I know I said it with Stella too, but this time I mean it: I am so not doing this again!

For anyone (guys) who doesn't know what this is like, imagine being seasick. For 7+ weeks straight. And you have to just go on with your day. All this tiredness and not feeling good is really starting to get me down.

Today I had a sonogram, and I know it is such a cliche to say something like this, but it really did make me feel a little better knowing this is all happening for a good reason. I know things will get better soon, but I am having a hard time feeling it. There is definitely an optimist in me, but right now she is tired and weak!!! Send good vibes for me.

I thought I would have more time...

I'm finding it harder to keep this blog updated now that I am staying home. When I do have a spare minute, I seem to spend it on freelance work (yay!) or, even better, hanging out with the hubby. Need to find a way to put this back in my schedule...

I did get rid of the dot template, that makes it at least a bit easier to read. baby steps!

rainy day fun with Wesley

We just love our friend Wes.

This is what happens when you mix a rainy afternoon, Wesley, Stella and the "T-Pain" iPhone app that turns your phone into one of those auto-tune things. Wes created the song (yes that is him singing), this is the two of them dancing to it.

New dance moves

Here is a short clip of Stella Rose learning some new dance moves the other night. We were at a restaurant where all the servers periodically get together and dance - she loved it.

And I know I'm biased and everything, but how many 23-month-olds can pick up new moves this quickly? :)

the orange theory

We were talking with some friends of ours who are also parents, and an interesting subject came up. Turns out that in both their family and ours, the dads tend to want to spoil/indulge the kids more often, while the moms are more consistent with setting limits/boundaries/call it what you will. Stephen related this story, and how he sees it as a metaphor for parenting:

Stella Rose is a huge fruit fan. She will eat two whole oranges in one setting if you let her. We usually cut the oranges into wedges so they are easy for her to eat. We would cut them up, put all 6 or 8 pieces on a plate, and let her go crazy. But, we noticed, she would only take the easiest bites from each piece, then ask for more. So I started handing them to her one wedge at a time. Sure enough, she would eat every last bit of pulp on the piece, then ask for more and repeat the process.

His metaphor here was that if you give a child a great quantity of something (oranges or possessions or treats or whatever), they get so distracted by how many they have, and how much more they can get, that they don't even enjoy it. Whereas if they are given things on a smaller or slower scale, it really enhances the gift - allowing them to focus on it and really enjoy it. I agree.

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

So 2010 is looking like it might be my favorite year so far. Or maybe that is just in comparison to 2009. We were so happy in 2009 - loved having 8 months all together - but frankly, the year just did not look good on paper (death, unemployment, fires, etc.).

We are excited to start this year off with something we were missing for so much of last year - a clear direction! Stephen has accepted a partnership with a web development firm. Turns out he is a much better job searcher than I was.

My approach: Go on vacation. Do some freelance work. Apply for some jobs. Go back on vacation. Get really excited and sidetracked by freelance work. What's that? Time for vacation. Another freelance project? Great, I can do that while on vacation.

Stephen's approach: Get in gear. Apply for job. Get interview for that job. Before nailing that interview, get offered partnership in another small business.

Despite that fact that he totally put me to shame, I am thrilled. It is a great fit - he really wanted to be back in a small-business owner role, but the time and risk of a startup was not a good fit for us right now. He's joined a company that has been around for 10 years and is ready for his contributions. It is just perfect for him. We are both so excited about what is ahead!

So we are in a sense trading places. He was so amazing as a stay-home parent, I have a lot to live up to. I always wanted to have this kind of flexibility, but was very worried. I've been afraid that with my inability to stay still for very long, being a stay-home parent would make me a little crazy. But my freelance work will help. I love it and it loves me. I can manage my clients and workload without having to be in an office all day. And I think that my energy might actually make me a better stay-home parent, since I am very good at thinking up things to do, and am usually organized enough to make things happen. I will also continue to work on my artwork. New commissions are coming in and I am just very happy.

All three of us are very happy. Stella sings a little song, "hap-py hap-py hap-py." Right now, life is good. And the thing is, we've been happy - even last year, even during some incredibly difficult times. I am reminded that sometimes happiness is a decision. I am so lucky to have a wonderful husband and daughter to help me remember that.

drumroll, please...

We had so much fun last year competitively decorating Christmas cookies that we decided to do it again. Results are in, and the winners are:

Best tribute to a Commodores song:

Best alternative use of a shape, bovine division:

Best alternative use of a shape, mug shot division:

Best alternative use of a shape, amphibian division:

Best alternative use of a shape, crafty division:

Best cookie that answers its own question:

Most vertical frosting height

Best traditional cookie:

Best maternal tribute:

Best (attempted) movie tie-in (transformers):

And finally, the Pablo Picasso expressionist award:

Congrats to the winners!